I have a favourite T-shirt.
One reason it’s my favourite is that it was given to me many years ago by a friend who has since passed away.
Another reason is that I think the shirt shows off my body really well.
It has something to do with the cut and the way the fabric hugs my figure just right.
Despite its age, the shirt is still in pretty good condition because I don’t wear it very often even though it’s my favourite T-shirt.
One reason I don’t wear it very often is that the shirt has the words “naval diver” on the back.
In front of the navy blue tee is the logo of the Naval Diving Unit (NDU) of the Singapore navy.The late friend who gave me the shirt was a naval diver.
I, on the other hand, have never been a naval diver. So for me to wear the shirt is a bit like false advertising.
It’s like imposters wearing Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts even though they're not Hard Rock Cafes. They’re human beings.To make me feel less like a fraud whenever I wear my NDU shirt, I convince myself that no one could ever mistake me for a naval diver.
For one thing, naval divers are very tanned. I, on the other hand, have the pallor of a navel gazer.
Another justification for me wearing the shirt is that for a few weeks during my national service, I was actually part of NDU as an underwater medical orderly trainee in Sembawang Camp.
I even took what was then called the Underwater Diving Course, swimming around in the yucky water near Sembawang Shipyard.
And I have the diver's badge to prove it – although the one I have now was bought from Beach Road to replace the original which I accidentally chipped.But while I did some diving (and skiving) in the navy, vocationally speaking, I’m no naval diver.
If only I can find a T-shirt with the words “naval skiver” on the back.
Still, some of my closest friends from NS were naval divers and my affinity for NDU remains.
So I had mixed feelings when it was reported last week that local film-maker, Cultural Medallion recipient and adulterer Jack Neo’s next movie will be a “spin-off” of his highly profitable Ah Boys To Men movies called Ah Boys To Frogmen, about naval divers, to be released next Chinese New Year.But judging by Facebook comments I have read, I know of at least one former frogman whose feelings aren’t so mixed – he outright hates the idea.
He is my NS friend, Patrick, who was a full-time naval diver for seven years.
Here’s a sampling of his online rant:
“Now we’re well and truly being farqed over – again!
“They did it once in the 80s and we’re bending over again for this idiot to make money and attract more wannabes.”
He is referring to the Channel 8 drama starring Zoe Tay called Navy Series which aired in 1990.
As for the new movie, Neo reportedly said the navy is not financially backing the film, but will “provide support”.
Pat’s tirade continued:
“I cannot express enough Hokkien, Teochew and Cantonese swear words at my disappointment with this arrangement to collaborate on this misadventure…
“We’ll end up looking like Ah Kwa Peng like the rest of his shitty movies.
“This arsehole has no clue as to what directing a movie requires.
“We watch his shit only because it’s made in Singapore and he has always disappointed on every occasion.”
Clearly, my friend is no fan of Neo’s film oeuvre, but I still couldn’t understand why Pat was so dead set against the movie.
He explained:
“Remember back in our day how little we had to work with but still accomplished the mission?
“Our mindset cannot be expressed by some toyboy actors over a weekend of pretend training.”
Pat was apparently so incensed that he even messaged Neo directly on Facebook:
“Stay away from NDU!
“We’d rather remain ‘the silent professionals’...
“We’ve worked too damn hard to earn our status for you to stuff it up.
“You cannot imagine what we’ve endured physically and mentally to earn the privilege to wear a piece of steel on our chest.
“You really want it, then you go through the whole course first YOURSELF!”
Yeah, 54-year-old Neo in a wetsuit. I don’t think anyone wants to see that.
The message continued:
“I’m an old-school NDU diver from the days before NSF divers came through and even did a small part in the original series with Zoe.
“What a waste of our time.
“So STAY AWAY FROM NDU. We’re not here for you to make money and mockery of.”
Neo hasn’t responded to Pat’s message and Pat doesn’t expect him to.
But I should warn Neo that Pat is into martial arts and has a scary fascination with big knives.
I must remember never to let Pat catch me wearing the shirt.
- Published in The New Paper, 30 March 2014
EARLIER: Remembering my first drowned body job