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After all the complaints, I apologise for being stupid
No one likes getting complaints.This year, I received a record number of complaints for this column.2012 started with complaints about a column I wrote about why I like Christmas better than Chinese...
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Man! He’s not a woman!
I’m a country music fan.Before Taylor Swift, the big country crossover star was Shania Twain. One of Twain’s hits was a song called Man! I Feel Like A Woman! with two exclamation points in the...
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Gee, your hair smells
Partly because my son mistook me for a woman two Saturdays ago, I went to get a haircut on Monday.I decided to try this new place in Yew Tee called Snip Avenue where a haircut is only $3.80.That's even...
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Sequelitis: Darinne Ko is no Cecilia Sue (and farewell, Yam Ah Mee)
2013 is the year of sequels.Actually, just about any year is the year of sequels, but I need a premise for this column, so work with me here.Last year, we had The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2,...
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Middle age, yes, but scary?
I just discovered that if you search for "middle age scary man" in Google images, deep among the results is my picture.Don't ask me how I discovered this.COLUMN: My own son mistook me for a woman
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Oddly (in)appropriate Facebook timeline juxtapositions
A couple of recent screenshots of my Facebook timeline.Yes, someone needs to be spanked and it's not the girl.(BTW, Patrick Paulo is an old friend from the navy. Of course.)
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Getting away with it - until someone complains
It’s not about censorship.You know, despite all the trouble I got into throughout my almost two decades working in Singapore media, I’m thankful for what I’ve managed to get away with.For one thing,...
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How I became a fool for stool
Caution: You may not want to read this if you are eating.Unlike the residents of Punggol East, the big question for me last week was not who I should vote for, but whether I want someone to stick his...
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Population solution: Baby, you can be my car
“It’s all your fault,” he said.Huh? What I did do now?I had just bumped into an old friend from the navy while I was jogging and already he was blaming me for stuff. He was complaining about having to...
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'This is our fifth year, baby, and it feels like I'm in jail'
Any Little River Band fans out there?This month marks my fifth anniversary at The New Paper. This is the longest I've ever stayed with one company.Yes, I spent 10 years at MediaCorp, but that was over...
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Year of the shirt
I bought this Stussy T-shirt a few years ago because it was unusual and on sale. I didn't even try it on in the shop.When I finally tried it on at home, it was like the ugliest, most horrifying thing....
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The pope versus King Kong
By some weird coincidence, Channel 5 was showing the movie Angels & Demons last night, a couple of days after the pope unexpectedly announced his resignation.It was like they planned it. Conspiracy...
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Awards season: It's no Asian TV Award, but ...
Remember when I won the award for Headline of the Month for October?Well, that headline was also nominated for Headline of the Year and last night, it won.It beat The Straits Times headline "CHAMPIONS...
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Censored: Not a good day for Die Hard fans
Want something to protest?Not something that may or may not happen 17 years from today, but something much, much more serious that is happening in Singapore right now.In fact, it may be too late.I am,...
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After 26 years, $1 will finally be bigger than 50 cents
It’s about time.And money.For too long, Singaporeans have been vexed by the paradox that is the relative sizes of our 50-cent and $1 coins.The five-cent coin is bigger than the one-cent coin. The...
View ArticleIt's not that Chuck Norris has never won an Oscar...
... it's that the Oscar has never won a Chuck Norris.Just because I made one reference to Chuck Norris in my last column, here are all the full movies starring Norris I could find on YouTube.Sadly, The...
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I have no beef with Ikea meatballs and wieners, but...
When I was at Ikea Alexandra with my wife last week, she wanted to buy the frozen chicken wieners.They were on sale. A pack of five wieners and a pack of five hot dog buns for $5, down from the usual...
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Outlaws of love: Adam Lambert, teachers and sex in the stairwell
Pop quiz, hot shot:What exactly are “outlaws of love”?Could they be people who love Candy Crush Saga so much that they risk alienating their Facebook friends by spamming them with constant requests for...
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Adam Lambert fans unite against illegal staircase sex
Over the years, I have received complaints about my column from the minister of information (about an Arts Fest article), from LTA and from one Jay Chou fan.Today, I got complaints from Adam Lambert...
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Geek gag for Windows 8 users
I walked past this recycling thing and it reminded me of something.Look familiar?Who says Windows 8 is rubbish? You're right.I just bought a Windows 8 PC at the IT Show last week. It's so...
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