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Go-Jek 'hostage' situation: Can you actually drive from Bishan to Coleman Street without paying ERP charges at 7am on weekday?

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The Go-Jek driver picked the passenger up from Block 251 Bishan Street 22 at about 7am on Tuesday and was heading towards Coleman Street.

The passenger wanted to avoid ERP charges. The driver said he didn't know how. The passenger didn't know either, but said she had taken the route "every morning".

She accused the driver of pretending not to know to cheat her.

And thus a viral sensation was born.



But can you actually drive from Bishan to Coleman Street on a weekday morning without paying ERP charges?

People seem to assume that because Coleman Street is in the CBD, you can’t.

I went to gothere.sg to find out and this was what I got:



I posted this route on Twitter and someone pointed out there are ERP gantries on Thomson Road and North Bridge Road on the route:

This is true. The Thomson Road gantry is near the Caldecott MRT station on the map and the North Bridge Road one is near Bugis station.

But according to the One Motoring website, the Thomson Road gantry starts operating at only 7:30am on weekdays and the North Bridge Road one at 8am.

So based on this information, yes, you can.


EARLIER: Is this the reason she asked 'Is it because I'm Chinese?’


Dear side boob-revealing tank top woman in ATM queue at Somerset MRT station...

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Dear Ashley Garcia,

Clothes maketh the man while the lack of clothes can make a woman famous.

Sometimes unintentionally.

I mean, you were just queuing for the ATM at the Somerset MRT station and minding your own business – except that you were wearing a low-cut, side boob-revealing tank top with no bra, which apparently made it everybody’s business.

Someone took pictures of you and posted them online, where they went viral and it’s easy to see why.

People get to share photos of a hot babe letting it all hang out in a public place while taking the moral stance of questioning whether it’s appropriate for the hot babe to let it all hang out in a public place.



It’s like having your tart and eating it too.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that also last week, a buaya was spotted at Lower Seletar Reservoir. (“Buaya” is Malay for crocodile and also means… maybe you can ask a Singaporean friend to explain that joke to you.)



Lianhe Wanbao even put your picture on its front page because, you know, slut-shaming is news.

At least no one is accusing you of a cover-up.

You probably beat the Hyflux CEO as the most controversial woman in Singapore last week. Congrats.

I suggest you avoid Gojek if you don’t want to get any more famous. And it’s not because you’re Chinese.

Last Tuesday, it was revealed that you’re a model from the Philippines, thanks to your Facebook post:
“Yes, this was me waiting in the ATM queue. I was not aware that somebody took a photo of me (I don’t personally know his purpose).

“I apologize if I offended any culture on this outfit, but, please understand that I do not have any obscene or malicious intention by wearing it. I am sorry if you think that this was an ‘indecent exposure’ but, it was not my intention.

“To those people who are already hitting me below the belt and criticizing me of something, I respect you. You are already telling things which are too personal that is already outside of what you see in the picture.

“I was already cyber shamed, bullied and threatened by several people because of this.

“PS. I was wearing shorts and nipple tapes during that time. Peace, mwah!”



As someone who has often been criticised for my appearance (by my own family) and cyber-shamed (for this column), I sympathise.

Singapore is so hot. You have to dress for the weather, right?

To show my support for you, I am posting photos of myself queueing for the ATM at Somerset MRT station wearing a side boob-revealing tank top with no bra.




Except I have no side boob to reveal (just the complete boob that I am and some armpit hair). So I went without nipple tape.

But I did wear shorts because I didn’t want to get arrested.

Peace and mwah back.

- Published in The New Paper, 18 February 2019



Creature feature: My first Safari Zoo Run

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I haven't been to the zoo in years and I've been looking for a new race route.

So I took part in the Safari Zoo Run 12km challenge this morning.

Flag-off was 7.10am for the second wave.



The 12km route was two loops around the zoo. My right heel hurt in the beginning due to plantar fasciitis but less so later in the run.



The runner in front was wearing a ostrich suit but didn't fully commit.



Not actual animals.



Chawang the elephant.



Miami Vice flamingos.





"Pandas" at the start of the second loop.



For the second loop, I decided take more photos of the animals since I was getting too tired to run continuously anyway.



White Lion had a big hit with When The Children Cry in the late 80s.



A hippo and a failed hipster (me).



5km to go.



Rubbernecking with the giraffe.



Crossing the zebra.



Cheetah Rivera.



4km to go.



Horny rhino.



Them again.



2km to go.



Trunkin' on.





End of second loop.



Almost there.



There.



Relive 'Safari Zoo Run'



After the race, my heel really hurt.

Hair peace 2: Kim Jong Un haircut is free in Vietnam - but not Singapore

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In January when it was reported that Singapore and Vietnam were shortlisted for the second US-North Korea summit, I was low-key hoping that we would get it again.

While some have complained that Singapore wasted too much money hosting the first summit last June, the historic occasion was the perfect opportunity for me to get Mr Kim Jong Un’s iconic haircut – for the second time.

The first time was in April 2016 when I was in North Korea for the Pyongyang marathon. I hadn’t cut my hair since.

So as far as I was concerned, it was $16.3 million well spent by our Government to play maître d'hôtel to President Donald Trump and Supreme Leader Kim’s first date because I got a haircut out of it.

And if the two leaders should swing back to Singapore for a second summit, I would have an excuse to get another Kim cut since my previous Kim cut had grown out in the months since the first summit.

Also, maybe Education Minister Ong Ye Kung will get a chance to take another selfie with Mr Kim and hopefully this time, The Guardian newspaper in UK won’t identify Mr Ong as “an unknown man” in the photo.



Alas, to the disappointment of Mr Ong, myself and millions of Crazy Rich Asians fans, Mr Trump announced last month that the second summit would be in Hanoi, not Singapore.

I couldn’t have been more crestfallen if I had fallen out of bed and fractured my arm. It was like I was punched in the face by an angry cyclist.

Then as if to rub it in, in honour of the second Trump-Kim summit, a Hanoi salon started offering a free Kim cut or Trump dye job to anyone who wanted one.



Except you had to be Hanoi, of course.

And I wasn’t.

But I wanted the free Kim cut.

If only Malaysia had already produced the flying car for me to drive to Vietnam.



I went online and found out a return flight to Hanoi would cost at least over $200. That was a lot of money to pay for a free haircut.

Should I or shouldn’t I?

I was about to click the button to book a flight when it occurred to me that I could just get a Kim cut in Singapore for somewhat less than $200 and I wouldn’t have to apply for leave from work to travel to Hanoi.



I also didn’t want to risk deportation from Vietnam for being a Kim impersonator after the haircut. (Yes, I know I’m not fat enough. Thank you very much.)

Anyway, I can’t go to Vietnam because I have a bone spur in my right heel. Seriously, this a real thing. It’s the same as what Mr Trump got that excused him from a whole war in 1968. I’m not malingering. It hurts when I walk.



So last week, I went to the LA Barbershop in Vivocity where I got my commemorative summit Kim cut last year and asked for same. The shop charges $40.66 for a “premium cut, shampoo, scalp massage, hot towel, styling”.

My barber, Tenny, said the Kim cut is basically a half fade and tried to explain to me the difference between a half fade and a soft fade.

But I was too preoccupied wondering whether I should use the $200 I saved by not going to Hanoi to buy the McGriddles hoodie on Carousell.



I told Tenny that someone in Vietnam was cutting people’s hair like Kim Jong Un’s for free, subtly hinting that he could perhaps not charge me too. He said he never heard of such thing and took my credit card.

Well, I tried.

Perhaps I was too subtle.

But now that I’ve had the Kim cut three times, I have to admit, I’m getting a little tired of it.

If there’s a third summit, I think I’ll go for the Trump dye job instead.

- Published in The New Paper, 4 March 2019


EARLIER: How I got my commemorative summit Kim Jong Un cut in 2018

As a Chinese who can't speak Chinese, I don't know what's Bayfront in Mandarin either

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Three weeks ago, I went to a barbershop and asked for the Kim Jong Un haircut to commemorate the US-North Korea summit in Vietnam as normal people do.

The woman at the reception counter asked: “Who?”

I was shocked that she had never of the man with the most famous haircut in the world – and she worked in a barbershop.

It wasn’t like I was asking her to name her favourite Watain song. I would understand if she had never heard of the Swedish black metal band because their concert here wasn’t cancelled yet.

They weren’t in the news at the time, but Mr Kim was. You know, summit and all that. He’s easily the planet’s most famous Korean not in a K-pop band or a sex scandal.

Watain have a song called Nuclear Alchemy. The Supreme Leader has actual nuclear arms.



But in the eyes of the Ministry of Home Affairs, Watain is probably more dangerous since Mr Kim was welcomed to Singapore last June with open arms – but Watain, not so much.

“Kim Jong Un,” I repeated. “The North Korean leader?”

The woman still didn’t know what I was talking about.

So I took out my iPhone, found a picture of my man online and showed it to her.

She said “Ohhhhh” and something else in Mandarin which I presumed was Mr Kim’s name in Chinese.

I got my haircut.

This is sort of the reverse of what happened to Mr Timothy Bon last week – except I didn't shame the woman for not knowing Mr Kim's name in English.



But as someone who can't speak Mandarin very well myself, I empathise with Mr Bon. Big mood.

The 22-year-old had a rough week.

It all started last Tuesday at Jurong East MRT station when a “China lady” approached Mr Bon and asked him in Mandarin how to go to Bayfront.

Like many Singaporeans, including me, he didn’t know the Chinese names of all the MRT stations by heart.

So Mr Bon, who got a C6 for his O-level Chinese, took out his phone to Google what station the woman was referring to.

Seeing him fumbling with his device and the language, she said in Mandarin: “A Chinese person who doesn’t know how to speak Chinese, aren’t you ashamed of yourself?”

Here he was, trying to help, Mr Bon was taken aback by the sudden scorn. So he pointed her to the train heading towards Tuas Link, which is the opposite direction of Bayfront and civilisation in general.

The woman walked off without saying thanks, according to Mr Bon.

Later that day, he went on Twitter to rant about the incident because “it’s cheaper than therapy”.

Well, his tweets went “Jovina Choi during Chinese New Year” viral and were reported by Mothership, AsiaOne, Lianhe Wanbao and even China and Taiwan media.

It got so cray that on Saturday, Mr Bon went on Instagram TV to “clarify the entire situation” and “milk his 15 minutes of fame dry”.

“Guys,” he said to the camera, “I was just complaining. Stop. It’s not that big of a deal. Stop.”

In the two-part profanity-laced IGTV video, he described how on the day after the tweets, it “started spiralling out of fucking control”.

“I was on Facebook just basically replying to goddamn trolls,” he said.
“I just want to make it clear this was never meant to be an attack on China tourists because I’ve been getting so much hate over this…

“I was rude to her because she was rude to me. Was it petty? Yes. Was it what she deserved? Yes. Is it because she’s from China? No. Okay?

“I guess why Singaporeans think this is an attack on China tourists specifically is because I probably tapped into this repressed rage Singapore has as a collective towards rude China tourists.

“So they just took it and this entire thing morphed into a life of its own and it’s just so fucking messy.”
Mr Bon didn’t expect his tweets to go viral.

He said: “I thought it was going to be like a C-average tweet. I have better tweets out, but nobody fucking gets the humour. Okay, sure.”

But at least one good thing came out of it. He said he “freaked the fuck out” when big-time celebrity Hossan Leong replied to him on Twitter: “YOU ARE MY HERO! Mandarin pfft! F9 for me all the way!”

Oh. So we’re now just openly bragging about how low our O-level Chinese grades are, are we? I got B4!

We can start a Chinese Who Can’t Speak Chinese support group, or CWCSC for short.

Mr Bon also has a message for my bread and butter:
“Hi, newspapers. Thanks for using my tweet. I hope you enjoy the engagement you get on your page. I hope you enjoy your increase in readership. Let’s talk about compensation. I would like to see it.”
LMAO! Increase in readership? Compensation? That’s hilarious. Who says no one gets his humour? I get it.

He said his “end game” was not to beat Thanos but get a Starbucks sponsorship.



Okay, I can’t give him that, but here are the three causes he wants to plug: “Repeal 377A, fuck Islamophobia and get your damn kids vaccinated.”

You can follow his Twitter @Timothy_Bon.

How’s that for compensation?

If that’s not enough, I may be able to afford to buy him a cup of Starbucks coffee after I withdraw my money from CPF.

I’m feeling generous. How do you say “venti” in Mandarin?

- Published in The New Paper, 18 March 2019



Gojek viral video saga vol. 2: 'Don’t make your problem to be my problem!'

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Last week, Gojek announced that it is improving the welfare of its Singapore drivers by introducing a benefits programme called GoalBetter, which includes fuel rebates and prolonged medical leave insurance.

Just in time too because one Gojek driver who seems to really need improved welfare is Mr Aaron Heng, the social media villain of the week.



Remember the Gojek “kidnapping” video two months ago? This is like the sequel but with new characters. So maybe it should be called a “reboot” instead?

Anyway, the premise and format is the same. The driver fears the passenger is accusing him of cheating. So to protect himself, he records a vertical video of his interaction with the passenger and it goes viral.

This could be a new TV reality anthology series called Singapore Gojek Story or The Gojek Zone. Jordan Peele could host it.



The first episode is obviously called “Is it because I’m Chinese?”

The second episode can be called “I’m not a millionaire like you”.

The stars of this episode are Mr Heng and an elderly couple he picked up.

Once again, the video starts in medias res, meaning in the middle of the story, so you’re not shown what led up to the events in the video.

It appears that when the passenger made the booking, he thought the fare was $14.10, but after getting into Mr Heng’s car, he learnt it was $21.10 on Mr Heng’s app.

So Mr Heng pulled his car over as the passenger called Gojek for clarification.

Meanwhile, Mr Heng was unhappy that he was accused of overcharging and kept interjecting while the passenger was on the phone.

The driver said: “$7 you want to make an issue? You waste my time. Eh! You’re driving Mercedes one, is it?”

The passenger replied: “That’s none of your bloody business, please.”

The word “bloody” apparently got Mr Heng even more triggered. He told the passenger: “Please talk to me with respect.”

Probably because Mr Heng picked up the couple at a country club, he said, apropos of nothing: “I’m not a millionaire like you.”

A theme emerged when he later added: “I’m driving to earn the incentive, you know that? I don’t earn $2,000 a day, you know? The incentive is only $205 for your info, you know?”

The passenger eventually agreed to pay the $21 and said he would sort it out with Gojek later. Mr Heng was not happy about that either.

He said: “You know why? Because if you sort out with Gojek, Gojek will minus out the $7 from my account. Let me put it clear to you, anything it becomes driver problem. Always driver’s problem. That is the problem.”

“Then that is something you got to sort out with Gojek,” said the passenger.

The 6-minute plus video ends after the couple manage to convince Mr Heng to continue driving.



Like the Gojek “kidnap” video, Mr Heng’s video went viral. Unlike the earlier video, which garnered much support for the driver, Mr Heng’s video did the opposite.

Someone commented on Facebook: “Evil. No good heart! After all can talk nicely n be patient to settle but not act like hooligans lah. Completely a low-class driver!”

It wouldn’t be a surprise if someone threatened to egg him.

On Saturday, Mr Heng apologised on Facebook:
Hi. I am the driver in this video. I'm drive as a Private Hire Driver to earn a honest living to provide for my family. I've tried my hands in seeking other employment opportunity but to no avail.

I want to say I've got nothing against the elderly especially the poor and the aged. In fact, I just posted a post on how an elderly offered to buy a meal for a wheelchair person and I even went up offering to pay for his meal. They were like us and one day we will be like them. That's why I believe in helping them out if I can.

Story is like this. I picked this couple from a country club to his destination. Normally I would confirm with the rider on his destination and the amount to pay and to our surprise, we found out that there was a price discrepancy. I then told the rider that it showed $21.10 on my app while he said that he has to pay $14.10 although he refused to show me his app saying $14.10 (I asked couple of times). He suddenly got irritated and asked me to alight him immediately. For his own safety, I told him it's dangerous to abruptly stop in the middle of the road like that but he went on insisting to alight him. I obliged.

I managed to find a small road to enter to stop by the side wanting to alight him and to call GoJek to ask for instructions. I openly notified the couple that I am doing a recording just in case I am accused of overcharging the couple. I cannot afford to lose this job. I've mouths to feed.

Why I behave in such a manner is because I was accused of overcharging the passenger. I did not. It is the system. And what I said in the video was to say that I am just trying to hit my incentives as the fares are already low. The pressure is immense. The terms are challenging. I'm facing a lot of stress to meet the targets.

Lastly, I want to apologise for my behaviour as shown in the video as time is precious to us as a private hirer driver. I was unnecessarily rude. I was not respectful. I did not explain myself clearly. I pray for a chance to make good.

But his apology was about as well received as a rat in a Teochew restaurant.

One person commented: “What’s the point of coming up with this sob story? You are sorry cos u got caught.”

Mr Heng’s Facebook page is no longer available.

But here’s the big twist.

On Saturday, Mr Heng also made a police report. In it, he said that he sent the video to a WhatsApp group “asking for advice” and named the people in the chat group.



He seems to be implying that someone in the group made the video public, not him. This despite him telling the passenger in the video: “I’ll make it (the video) very big. Trust me, brother.”

Gojek has since said that the company looked into the case and had resolved the matter between the driver and his passengers.

By the way, under the company’s new GoalBetter programme, drivers who use their DBS or POSB debit cards to pay for fuel will also get a $7.50 weekly rebate if they spend at least $180 a week.

That’s how you can get your $7 back right there.

- Published in The New Paper, 1 April 2019

Waiting game: Buying Avengers Endgame tickets made me question the meaning of life

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There comes a time for everyone when you question the point of it all.

Why are you doing this? Is this what life is about?

For me, that happened last Wednesday morning as I stared at the queue number on my computer screen, waiting to buy tickets for Avengers: Endgame on the Shaw Theatres website.



The screen said: “Your estimated wait time is: more than one hour.”

Nothing to be done.

I wanted Imax 3D tickets, which you can get only at Shaw, but like the Avengers in Infinity War, it looked like I was going to fail.

Deciding that it’s better to have non-Imax 3D tickets than no tickets at all, I tried the other cinema chains.

But I couldn’t get into the Cathay Cineplexes website because Thanos had apparently snapped its servers to oblivion too.

After a few attempts, I was relieved to be able to get good seats on the Golden Village website – until I tried to pay. My credit card payment couldn’t be processed.

GV raised my hopes only to turn them to dust like the Mad Titan. At least on the Cathay website, the death was instant. This was crueler.

It’s too much for one man.

On the other hand, what’s the good of losing heart now, that’s what I say.

As a last resort, I tried the website of We Cinemas, (a misnomer since it has just one cinema in Clementi albeit with multiple halls) and managed to book two opening-day tickets.

The seats are terrible though – three rows from the front and to the side. My neck is going to hurt after the three-hour movie.

At least whatever happens, I will be watching Avengers: Endgame on opening day, just maybe not in Imax 3D.

People ask, why must you watch the movie on the first day?

Some fans say it’s to avoid spoilers because if you see the movie before other people do, other people can’t spoil it for you and as we all know, hell is other people.

But honestly, it’s because I just can’t wait.

Like the hardy souls in the queue for A&W at Jewel Changi Airport, I would rather wait in line for hours than wait for the hype to inevitably fade when there will be no more queues.



Remember the long lines for Wendy’s in 2009 when it too returned to Singapore after a long absence like A&W?

Well, the queues for Wendy’s are gone – and so is Wendy’s. And it wasn’t even Thanos’ fault.



But as I sat there counting down the minutes in the online queue for the Shaw website, I felt like I was watching my life tick away as well. I wondered if it was really worth it.

For even though I already got my back-up tickets, ultimately, the endgame was still Imax 3D.

I could just sell my extra tickets on Carousell and maybe even make a profit.



Like the Avengers, I wasn’t giving up – yet.

After three hours, the screen said: “Your estimated wait time is: less than one minute.”

Hallelujah!

More than one minute later, it said the same thing.

Fake news!

In the time it took for me to get the tickets, I could’ve watched the whole goddamned movie.

Minutes later, I was re-directed to the Avengers: Endgame ticketing page.

My patience had been rewarded! I rejoiced.

Then…

Nothing happens.

I couldn’t click on anything.

At least the Cathay website didn’t string you along for “more than an hour” before hanging. It disappointed you right away.

Shaw made sure you suffered first.

Astronomers were taking pictures of me because I was in a black hole where time had no meaning.



Why was I doing this? Was this what life is about?

In an instant, all will vanish and we'll be alone once more in the midst of nothingness.

Like the search party for the runaway bull in Lim Chu Kang, I finally gave up.

And thus ended one of the most existentially stressful mornings of my life and I’ve flown on Scoot before.

I later bought 3D tickets from GV and this time, the payment went through. No Imax but close enough.

Anybody want two tickets to watch Avengers: Endgame at 11.05am on April 24 in Clementi?

Is $500 too much to ask?

Great seats.

- Published in The New Paper, 15 April 2019





Sent to NUS students: [NUSSU EXCO] Statement on Sexual Harassment in NUS

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My daughter, an NUS student, received this e-mail this morning:

Dear Students,

NUSSU Exco expresses its condemnation of any form of sexual harassment, which is a serious community problem that everyone has a responsibility in handling. NUSSU Exco is regretful that Ms Monica Baey, and other victims of sexual harassment, have had to go through such traumatic experiences as an NUS student.

NUSSU Exco strongly encourages any victim of sexual harassment to report to NUS, and is willing to assist students in helping report such matters to NUS. Students who know of such victims are encouraged to provide social support and help them seek professional support if necessary.

Students who are told to not report such matters, or are not comfortable with approaching NUS directly, should alert and contact NUSSU Exco at feedback@nussu.org.sg. NUSSU Exco is currently in the process of clarifying who had told Ms Baey that she should not report the matter.

However, justice needs to consider both the victim and the perpetrator, and needs to be proportionate. While the discussion on the issue of sexual harassment and this particular case is important and welcome, NUSSU Exco also strongly urges fellow students to not harass Mr Nicholas Lim and his family.

NUSSU Exco notes that in this particular case, the Board had ordered the following:

  • One semesters’ suspension;
  • Ban from entering into all on-campus housing premises;
  • Mandatory counselling sessions at University Health Centre;
  • Community-based sanctions of 30 hours of supervised community service;
  • Mandatory rehabilitation and reconciliation sessions with a social worker;
  • Writing a mandatory letter of apology; and
  • Official letter of reprimand

NUSSU Exco also recognises, that as opposed to a criminal court, that rehabilitation is an extremely strong principle in how student offenders are treated in the Board of Discipline, given that NUS is an educational institution. NUSSU Exco also notes that the Board of Discipline had acted in accordance with existing precedent and due process, and respects that the decision by the Board was arrived at in good faith.

However, NUSSU Exco is in the process of considering whether for future cases, as a matter of general policy against sexual harassment, there should be heavier punishments as a matter of deterrence, and for retributive justice for victims.

Furthermore, NUSSU Exco stresses that punishment is only one aspect of how NUS should deal with sexual harassment, and that this episode highlights how NUS policy with respect to sexual harassment could be reviewed in various areas. These include:

  • Increasing awareness and education of sexual harassment on campus, as a preventive policy;
  • Improving social-psychological support for victims of sexual harassment;
  • Greater transparency and education on how sexual harassment cases are dealt with in NUS; and
  • Improving the culture of reporting sexual harassment in NUS, to create a safer environment for reporting harassment.

NUSSU Exco also stresses that all members of NUS have a role to play in creating a culture where sexual harassment is not acceptable. This is not the sole responsibility of the administration, and NUSSU Exco encourages students to play their part in ensuring that we create an empowering, safe and trusting environment for all.

NUSSU Exco recognises that NUS takes sexual harassment very seriously, and appreciates that it is continuing such a stance and policy. NUSSU Exco notes that NUS has recently conducted the following:

  • Review of the code of student conduct, with extensive revisions to the provisions on sexual misconduct; and
  • Education of campus security investigation officers and board of discipline members on how to sensitively handle sexual harassment cases.

NUSSU Exco takes issues of sexual harassment seriously, and notes that there is currently a proposal being mooted in NUSSU Council with respect to conducting a survey regarding sexual harassment in NUS.

In light of this incident, NUSSU Exco is currently conceiving an action plan to better address issues of sexual harassment. This includes the drafting of a report by NUSSU Exco on whether existing sentencing guidelines should be revised, whilst considering other processes.

NUSSU Exco will continue to work closely with NUS in making the campus a safe and secure environment for all our students. NUSSU Exco also notes that NUS President is to convene a Committee to review disciplinary and support frameworks in NUS. NUSSU Exco is confident that the Committee and the administration will continuously engage with students, to create a safer environment that everyone has confidence in.

Students who have any feedback on this matter can contact NUSSU Exco via email at feedback@nussu.org.sg. NUSSU Exco welcomes and encourages students to continue to make their views known through official channels, such that the NUS administration and NUSSU Exco can act accordingly.

It was also posted on the NUSSU Facebook page:



This follows an earlier NUS statement yesterday:



There are at least two online petitions regarding this case, We want Singapore police to reopen Monica Baey’s case! and Stiffer Punishment For Nicholas Lim Jun Kai.




EARLIER IN 2016: Minister says 'ejaculate', thanks to rapey NUS freshman orientation games


Sent to NUS students: [NUSSU EXCO] Statement on NUS Town Hall

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So my daughter, an NUS student, received another e-mail from the students' union this afternoon:



Dear Students,

NUSSU EXCO would like to thank all the students who attended and participated in the town hall organised by NUS on Thursday, 25th April 2019. While we appreciate that the University promptly responded to the students’ call for a town hall, we are extremely disappointed in the way the meeting was run.

  • We regret that the town hall was planned in a manner that did not allow for an extension. The town hall should have been the administration’s top priority in light of the various concerns raised by the students over the past week. This was also a huge letdown for students who cleared their schedules prior to finals but were unable to voice their concerns.
  • NUSSU EXCO is disheartened to observe that the panelists were unable to answer students’ questions adequately as they are not on the Review Committee and therefore could not make any commitment on their behalf.
  • Furthermore, the town hall did not meet its original intentions of sharing its investigative and disciplinary procedures and the sanctions framework for sexual misconduct.
  • Despite the aforementioned concerns, we welcome the NUS administration’s plans to establish a centralised victim support unit and improve security infrastructure in halls and residential colleges.
  • We also appreciate the University for following through on our suggestions to enforce anonymity and include counsellors on standby.
  • Moving forward, we have submitted two requests formally to the NUS President, Prof Tan Eng Chye. The first is to increase the diversity and quantity of student representation in the Review Committee. The second is to convene another town hall with members of the Review Committee on the panel as part of their report crafting methodology. This is to ensure that students can receive committal answers from individuals who have decision-making power in the committee, and that their voices are heard.
  • Last but not least, we applaud the students who mustered the courage to share with the NUS administration their experiences and feedback with the purpose of creating a safer and more empowering environment for all.
  • The notes of the town hall and the remaining unasked questions can be found at bit.ly/nustownhall2019. We have forwarded them to nuslistens@nus.edu.sg and we encourage students to submit their concerns, queries and feedback to the aforementioned email address. Students who wish to reach out to NUSSU EXCO can contact us at feedback@nussu.org.sg.

It's also posted on the NUSSU Facebook page:



Later that night, my daughter received this e-mail from the NUS Provost:

Dear Students,

Yesterday afternoon, the Office of Student Affairs and NUSSU held a town hall to discuss how we can improve campus safety and offer better support to victims of sexual misconduct. I would like to thank those who attended and contributed.

I acknowledge that there was some disappointment that the session could not be extended to allow more of you to speak. After the session, NUSSU collated the remaining questions and submitted them to nuslistens@nus.edu.sg, the e-mail address we created to hear from you directly. I assure you that your comments and questions will be carefully reviewed and considered.

The town hall is just the first step in a broad consultation with the NUS community to hear from our students, faculty and staff. We are committed to providing further opportunities for consultation and feedback in the coming weeks, including more town hall sessions.

As you may know, the NUS Board of Trustees has convened a review committee on sexual misconduct. The points raised at the town hall will be shared in full with the committee, in addition to any submissions sent to nuslistens@nus.edu.sg.

I would like to state emphatically that we take our responsibilities very seriously when it comes to protecting everyone in our community from harm. We hear your forceful voices on the need to strengthen our disciplinary framework, to improve victim care support and physical safety, and to redouble our efforts to create a culture that allows everyone to feel safe on campus.

As immediate actions, the University will:

  1. Establish a dedicated office where victims of sexual misconduct can receive specialised, professional support and care. This office will support victims from the point they make a report, and ensure privacy and sensitivity in handling their cases. It will also have counsellors to provide aftercare support and address other concerns and needs that victims may have. This office will be in place before the start of the new academic year.
  2. Accelerate the enhancement of physical security on campus, including broader CCTV coverage, more security staff and better sexual misconduct-specific training for security staff.
  3. Work with student representatives to implement heightened security and privacy tools in bathrooms in all student residences.
  4. Deliver educational seminars on respect, consent and awareness for all students, faculty and staff from the start of the new academic year.

We are committed to a transparent and consultative process, and our proposed actions will continue to be published for your feedback before they are implemented by the start of the new academic year.

Please do reach out to nuslistens@nus.edu.sg, with your suggestions and feedback.

Thank you for taking the time to voice your concerns. I assure you that we are listening.

Sincerely,
Professor Ho Teck Hua




EARLIER: Sent to NUS students: [NUSSU EXCO] Statement on Sexual Harassment in NUS


After Monica Baey: My daughter is in NUS, should I be worried?

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My daughter, a first-year National University of Singapore (NUS) student, once told me a joke:

What do NUS and Nanyang Technological University (NTU) students have in common?

Answer: They all applied to NUS.

I think she read it in NUSWhispers.

After last week, there is another answer: They may be secretly filmed showering on campus.

Singapore Management University doesn’t look so bad now.

Last week, besides Avengers: Endgame spoilers, all anyone could talk about was NUS student Monica Baey.

She posted an Instagram Story about catching another student filming her in the shower, which resulted in Facebook posts by two ministers and a disappointing NUS town hall meeting on Thursday.







We also learnt that 26 sexual offence cases had been brought before the NUS disciplinary board over the past three years. That works out to be approximately one sexual offence every six weeks.

NTU: “Hold my beer.”

Also last week, two cases of an NTU student being filmed in the shower were reported within days of each other.



And all these are just incidents that have been reported. There could be more perpetrators who were not caught.

Who knew local university campuses are such popular locations for illicit amateur voyeur porn production?

I certainly didn’t read about it in the university prospectuses when my daughter and I were deciding which school to apply to after she got her A-level results last year.

There is apparently no global ranking of universities based on the number of perverts matriculating in the school.

By the way, it’s not true that matriculation causes blindness.

In any case, a bigger factor in picking a university is the school’s remoteness from civilisation, which was why NTU wasn’t our first choice.

After all, we chose NUS even though we were aware of the sexualised freshmen orientation games scandal of 2016.

That was when then Acting Minister for Education (Higher Education and Skills) Ong Ye Kung felt it was necessary to point out on Facebook that “pretending to ejaculate into the face of a fellow student” is a “reprehensible act that cannot be tolerated”.



I’m happy (and relieved) to report that my daughter attended an NUS freshmen orientation camp last year and did not witness anyone pretending to ejaculate into anyone’s face or she would have told me.

However, in the wake of the Monica Baey revelations, my daughter received a series of e-mails from NUS last week that were more concerning than reassuring.

The first was an April 21 e-mail from the NUS Students’ Union Exco, saying that sexual harassment “is a serious community problem” and victims should report such matters to the school. The Exco added that if victims are told not to report, they should report that too.



Later that day, the Dean of Students sent an e-mail about how NUS “does not tolerate sexual misconduct” and that a committee will be convened “to review the current student disciplinary and support frameworks”.



Then on Friday after the town hall, the Students’ Union Exco sent an e-mail to express “extreme” disappointment in how the town hall was run.



Later that day, the NUS Provost sent an e-mail regarding the town hall to “acknowledge that there was some disappointment”, which makes you wonder, if NUS couldn’t even organise a town hall competently, how is it going to do all the things it said it was going to do?

To top it all off, NUS and the Singapore Food Agency are investigating after two separate outbreaks of food poisoning on campus earlier this month.



So not only does my daughter have to watch out for perverts in school, she has to be careful of the food too?

Academics, schmacademics.

Just three more years to go.

Three.

Long.

Years.

I must make sure she never takes a shower in school.

- Published in The New Paper, 29 April 2019

Safety advisory sent to NUS students: Female resident was filmed in bathroom at Raffles Hall

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So my daughter, a National University of Singapore student, just received another e-mail from the school:
From: Office of Campus Security
Sent: Saturday, May 11, 2019 7:13:48 PM

Dear NUS Student

Safety advisory from NUS Campus Security

This morning, the Office of Campus Security (OCS) was alerted to an incident in which a female resident was filmed in one of the bathrooms at Raffles Hall. The matter has been reported to the police and we are assisting in their investigation.

The University is providing the female student with dedicated support and assistance.

Since April, the University has been enhancing security on our campuses through the introduction of enhanced CCTV coverage, secure shower cubicles, restroom locks and increased patrols by campus security officers.

All of these measures are in the midst of being implemented at Raffles Hall, including the secure shower cubicles which will be installed in the coming weeks. One of the newly installed CCTV cameras at the hall had enabled us to capture footage of the male suspect, who has been apprehended by the police for further investigation.

Your safety is important to us. While NUS accelerates the implementation of these security enhancements, we urge all students and staff to remain vigilant, and to immediately report any suspicious activity to OCS at our 24-hour hotline: 6874 1616 and email: ocssec@nus.edu.sg.

Let's work together to keep our campuses safe for everyone.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Keith It
Director
Office of Campus Security

This is getting out of hand.


EARLIER: After Monica Baey: My daughter is in NUS, should I be worried?


Storm in a 50-cent tea cup? Confusion over May deal at NTUC Foodfare

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Just half a dollar.

For the whole of this month, when you show your National Trades Union Congress (NTUC) membership card at NTUC Foodfare or Kopitiam, you can buy a cup of hot coffee or tea (or their various c, o, kosong, siew dai, ga dai, po, gau incarnation) for only 50 cents.

I believe it has something to do with May Day, celebrating workers and all that.

At least I don’t have to demean myself by wearing a Liverpool jersey to get the special price.



I was delighted to spot the “$0.50 kopi & teh” sign in my neighbourhood Foodfare coffee shop since I go there to buy a packet of teh for myself and a packet of teh-o for my wife to take home practically every morning.

It usually costs $1 for the teh and 90 cents for the teh-o, but this month, I need to pay only $1 for both.
It’s like Thanos snapped half the price away.

That will save me $27.90, which I can spend on watching Avengers: Endgame in Imax 3D again with popcorn.



Or so I thought.

For the first few days of the month, I smiled like I had never smiled before at the drinks auntie as I showed her my NTUC card and paid only $1 for my daily beverages.

Then last week, things suddenly changed.

She told me she could charge me 50 cents for only one drink and I had to pay full price for the other.

Wait, what?

She explained that the rule is actually one cup per card.

So they had been doing it wrong all this time?

I asked, what if I queued up and ordered again? The auntie said, no, no, she still had to charge me full price for the second drink.

But what if I disguised myself such that she couldn’t recognise me? Josh damn it, I left my Thanos mask at home.

If I wanted to pay 50 cents for my wife’s teh-o, it seemed my only options were to go to another NTUC Foodfare or Kopitiam, or get someone else to order for me using my NTUC card (since they didn’t check who the card belonged to), or wait for the drink stall staff to change shift.

Or pay full price, which was, of course, unthinkable.

That’s like 40 cents more!

I looked around the coffee shop and considered asking a stranger to order the teh-o for me, but my skin wasn’t “gau” enough.

I was about to head home teh-o-less, but the fear of disappointing my wife made me turn around and accept the unthinkable – I would pay the full price of 90 cents for her drink.

The drinks auntie sighed when she saw me again. Half exasperated and half taking pity on me, she charged me 50 cents for the teh-o and said she wasn’t supposed to do this.

I smiled at her like I never smiled at anyone before.

Never mind the Avengers – she’s my hero.

But still confounded by the “one cup per card” rule, I looked it up online and found an April 25 Straits Times report that said:
“There is no limit to the number of cups of discounted kopi, kopi-o, kopi-c, teh, teh-o and teh-c - including sugarless varieties – customers can order in one day. They can order one discounted drink for each card presented at the counter and have to queue again to order each subsequent cup.”
Which contradicts what the drinks auntie told me.



Was my hero mistaken or should ST be prosecuted under the new Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act?

But even if ST is right, it seems kind of silly to force people to queue up each time for a 50-cent beverage.

What if there’s no queue? Can I just order multiple 50-cent cups? Or must I go through the motion of ordering one at a time?

And why was it different for the first few days of the month?

It appears NTUC hasn’t quite thought this through.

Oh yah, and do I need to bring my Thanos mask?

The things I do to save 40 cents.

- Published in The New Paper, 13 May 2019

NTUC Enterprise responds to my 50-cent teh column: 'We apologise for the confusion'

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So my last column was about my confusion over the 50-cent teh deal at the NTUC Foodfare coffeeshop.

In response to the article published in The New Paper on May 13, a reader named Lilian Seah e-mailed me:

Good morning,

Thanks for the article in The New Paper this morning.

The discount is not applicable in NTUC hawker in Kampung Admiralty. I was really surprised as this location is specially opened by Mr Lee Hsien Loong. Kampung Admiralty, an integrated housing estate for senior citizens, is considered a model for future public housing.

The mixed vegetables rice prices in most NTUC food court has special concessions for senior citizens, student and NTUC union members. But it's also not applicable in Kampung Admiralty. Example: Khoo Teck Phuat Hospital food court and NTUC coffeeshop in Blk 361 Sembawang crescent.

NTUC privilege is not align and it's really confusing to consumers.

Hope to hear from you soon.

So last week, NTUC Enterprise wrote a letter to TNP responding to my column and the reader's e-mail:

Dear Editor,

We refer to the article by SM Ong – Confusion over 50-cent Teh deal at Foodfare dated 13 May 2019, and to the letter from your reader Ms Lilian Seah

We thank them for sharing their experiences.

The following ten hot beverages Kopi, Kopi-O, Kopi-O Kosong, Kopi-C, Kopi-C Kosong, Teh, Teh-O, Teh-O Kosong, Teh-C, Teh-C Kosong are offered at $0.50 to NTUC Union members every day for the month of May at over 90 NTUC Foodfare and Kopitiam food courts and coffee shops islandwide.

To ensure that every NTUC Union member gets to enjoy this promotion, each member can buy 1 cup of kopi/teh upon presenting one NTUC union membership card. That is to say, the same member is entitled to buy two cups at $0.50 each by presenting two NTUC union membership cards in a single transaction – in the event he is making the purchase on behalf of another member. We wish to highlight that there is no limit to the number of cups each member can buy per day. To minimise waiting times for other customers, an NTUC union member holding a single NTUC union membership card is encouraged to re-join the queue if he wishes to purchase an additional cup at $0.50.

We apologise for the confusion Mr Ong has experienced. We shall continue to reinforce our communication with the operations team to ensure consistency in the implementation of the promotion.

We are glad that the promotion has been well received and there have been suggestions to extend this offer to the hawker centres. We shall take this into consideration for our future campaigns. Customers may refer to Foodfare’s website (www.foodfare.com.sg) or Kopitiam’s website (www.kopitiam.biz) for more information and the full listing of the participating outlets.

Meanwhile, NTUC union members continue to enjoy a host of member privileges at NTUC Foodfare food courts, coffee shops and new hawker centres.

At our Rice Garden stall, customers enjoy mixed rice meals at concessionary prices for senior citizens, students, NTUC union members and other concession card holders. Launched by NTUC Foodfare in 2009, Rice Garden is a social outreach programme to provide affordable meals to Singaporeans so as to help moderate their cost of living. To date, we have 47 Rice Garden stalls operating in coffee shops and hawker centres including Kampung Admiralty hawker centre (KAHC).

To bring greater value to the NTUC union members, we also extend the following benefits at NTUC Foodfare food courts and coffee shops,

  • Every stall offers an NTUC value meal which members may purchase at a discount of up to 15%
  • NTUC breakfast set sold at a member price of $1.80 ($2.20 for the public)
  • NTUC U Live members (aged 55 years and above) enjoy a 10% senior citizen discount every Tuesday
In addition, every stall at our coffee shops offers a budget meal priced from $2 - $3, which can be enjoyed by the public.

We have noted the feedback from Ms Seah and would like to gather more details of her experience at KAHC for follow-up action. We would appreciate if she may contact our service quality team at 6756 0266 or via email at feedback@foodfare.com.sg.

It is NTUC Foodfare’s social mission to provide value, quality cooked food at affordable prices and we intend to provide better value to our customers through initiatives such as the 50-cent kopi/ teh promotion.

It doesn't answer my question about when there's no queue, but ok.

I'm actually too paiseh to queue up twice. So I'm sacrificing 40 cents every time I buy drinks (one teh-o, one teh) for my wife and me for the rest of the month.

If only I were more thick-skinned.


EARLIER: Storm in a 50-cent tea cup? Confusion over May deal at NTUC Foodfare

Fake news? Are there no more queues at Shake Shack in Jewel as K F Seetoh seems to claim?

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When I say “Jewel”, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

The waterfall? Shake Shack? A&W?

The song Foolish Games from the Batman And Robin soundtrack?



Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is long queues.

That’s why I avoided visiting the much hyped Changi Airport supermall since it opened last month.

If hell is other people, Jewel is nothing but hell.

Then last Wednesday morning, Makansutra founder and fellow TNP columnist K F Seetoh posted on Facebook photos showing a near-deserted Jewel with no queues outside Shake Shack and A&W.





He wrote:
“The line at the Shake has slacked to kosong n A&W stands for Anybody Want? The 24 hr food hall is thr to serve some overpromised kpi n i did not even know thrs a food court hidden within the food hall. I think now Joo Chiat more happening than Jewel la. A stall manager said they, like else whr get the usual lunch crowd but picks up only on weekends.

“Did someone over rara on promises at Jewel.”
Okay, if you can comprehend all that, then maybe you can explain to me the ending to Game Of Thrones too. (Like why is there still a Night Watch?)



My takeaway from Seetoh’s post was, woohoo, no more crowds! I can go to Jewel now, just maybe not during lunch and the weekend.

And perhaps I should check out Joo Chiat too.



At first, people on Facebook agreed with Seetoh.

One commented:
“Well it’s a over rated mall with common shops found in other downtown and heartland malls. Food stores like Shake Shack and A&W taste horrible. Once you tasted the original, these are just pale in comparison. Furthermore if you don’t stay in the east, who would want to waste time and the hassle to travel all the way to jewel for a mediocre mall?”
Well, at least it doesn’t have an indoor cycling track.

Another commenter was more succinct: “White Jewel elephant!!!”

Then someone asked when the photos were taken.

Seetoh replied 9.15am.

Well, that changed things.



He was asked: “Why do u take pics at early in the morn and then deduce the ‘kosong’ queues? Who on earth goes to any shopping mall at 9 or even 10am at weekdays. Be fair in your conclusions lah.”

Also, I might add, while A&W is open 24 hours, Shake Shack opens only at 10am.

Someone else pointed out: “Joo Chiat got consistently long Qs on a weekday morning ah?”

Another warned: “This post may be covered under the fake news law if it goes viral.”

Well, it went viral enough that AsiaOne reported: “K F Seetoh posts photos of empty Jewel Changi Airport, internet disagrees.”



Oh no, will the Singapore hawker food champion have to run away to South Africa to escape prosecution under the Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Act?

Ironically, he would probably have to go through Changi Airport.

Backtracking a little, Seetoh added to his post:
“i was there same time today, pre opening hrs at 930am, same as three weeks back and the lines then were ridiculous. But its all but disappeared now. I see the usual crowds closer to opening and regular hours, which is normal and i hope it continues. The decline is slow and real. I feel for the tenants, esp the 24/7 ones.”
So his point was that even at this early hour, there were long queues when Jewel first opened but not anymore. His concern is: “If nobody at some hrs..why make them open 24/7 in these depressed manpower conditions.”

Wait, wait, wait, so does this mean there are still long lines at Jewel or not?

I decided to find out for myself last Friday afternoon by travelling all the way from my home in Choa Chu Kang to Changi while listening to Jewel’s greatest hits on my non-Huawei phone.



It was hell.

Who will save your soul indeed.

To answer Seetoh’s A&W question, yes, a lot want.

- Published in The New Paper, 27 May 2019





Getting free food with my Liverpool T-shirt

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It started last month when Liverpool miraculously beat Barcelona 4-0 to overcome a 0-3 deficit in the second leg of the Champions League semi-final.



The win was such an incredible comeback that the day after, two Indian restaurant chains in Singapore, Casuarina Curry and Springleaf Prata Place, offered free prata for any customer wearing a Liverpool jersey.



I regretted not going for the free prata.

Even though I actually wore a Liverpool T-shirt that day, it didn't occur to me to get the free prata because I didn't own a Liverpool jersey. I had a T-shirt.

But then I realised later that I could have at least tried.

I mean, was the restaurant going to make a distiction between a jersey and a T-shirt? Probably any top with the word "Liverpool" would do.

I promised myeelf that if ever such an offer comes along again, I should try to get the free food, even with just the T-shirt.

So after Liverpool finally won the Champions League after 14 years two days ago, I was immediately on the look-out.

And I wasn't disappointed.



The Texas Chicken, An-Nur Shenton Way Famous and Gayatri Restaurant offers were for Sunday only. The Ah Lim Jalan Tua Kong and Casuarina Curry offers were for Monday.

An-Nur Shenton Way Famous and Gayatri Restaurant are too out of the way, so on Sunday, I just went for free two-piece combo meal at Texas Chicken in Nex.

But by the time I got there around 6.50pm, I was told the offer was for the first 100 customers only and I was too late.

I couldn't believe it. I felt so cheated. I checked the Texas Chicken offer on Facebook again.

Well, it did say "while stocks last". Just not that the "stocks" were only enough for 100 customers.



I was crushed.



Not wanting to waste my trip there, I bought the two-piece Sambal meal, which was not bad, actually.

Then as if to add insult to heartbreak, some time between 8pm and 9pm that night, Texas Chicken posted this on Facebook:



So if only I had gone to Nex two hours later than I did, I could've gotten my free meal!

I was upset enough that I commented on Texas Chicken's post:



And Texas Chicken actually replied:



So I messaged Texas Chicken the next morning:



So in a way, I got my free Texas Chicken meal after all.

Woohoo!

But my quest for free Liverpool food wasn't over yet.

Ah Lim Jalan Tua Kong and Casuarina Curry's offers were for Monday, ie yesterday.



Ah Lim Jalan Tua Kong is in Joo Chiat, which was too out of the way for me. So I headed for the Thomson Road outlet of Casuarina Curry, wearing my unwashed Liverpool T-shirt for the second day in a row.

I went around 3.30pm to avoid the lunch and dinner crowd.

It was raining.

But I got my free chicken biryani.



Woohoo!

Mission accomplished.

Ironically, I'm not even a Liverpool fan. I just bought the shirt to troll a colleague, a real hardcore Liverpool fan.



He owns an actual Liverpool jersey. Probably more than one.

And he didn't get any free food at all.

Maybe I'll give him my $10 Texas Chicken voucher.

Maybe not.


I have reservations: Is Anti-Chope Movement a lost cause?

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I have never been a guest of honour. Have you?

I imagine it must be pretty cool. People suck up to you. They want to take pictures with you. You get free food. Where’s the downside?

That was probably what Minister for Culture, Community and Youth Grace Fu thought when she was the guest of honour at the Kindness Carnival on May 25.



After all, it was organised by the Singapore Kindness Movement. What could be controversial about kindness, right?

At the carnival in East Coast Park that day, new so-called Ground-Up Movements were “inducted” by the Singapore Kindness Movement.

As the guest of honour, Ms Fu took pictures with members of the Ground-Up Movements as well as many other people at the carnival.





That was last month.

Last week, people started making rather unkind comments online about Ms Fu for supposedly “endorsing” one of those Ground-Up Movements just because she took pictures with members of that movement.

That movement is the Anti-Chope Movement.



And let me tell you, people hate it, calling it “inconsiderate”, “thoughtless”, “pretentious”, “counter-productive”, “useless”, “silly”, “self-righteous”, “ridiculous” and “dumbest possible movement”.

If a movement could be cyberbullied, this would be it.

The Anti-Chope Movement was started last year by Ms Katelin Teo, the associate general secretary of partnerships at the Singapore Kindness Movement.

Sharing her origin story on Facebook, she wrote:
“What started out as a pet peeve, I have decided to take action and make a difference in hope to change social behavior, dissuading 'chope-rs' from 'chope-ing'.

“To ‘chope’ is not a life hack. In my opinion, it is an ungracious act carried out by individuals who are conforming to what everyone else is doing and taking to this advantage ‘ Singaporean-tradition’ of reserving a seat for selfish reasons. Reserving of seats are done at restaurants who take reservations - where you have to call or make one online.

“Seats at hawker centres, food courts, coffee shops, cafes and fast food restaurants are meant to be FREE-SEATING, free-for-all, it is a first-come-first get a seat (butt seated) basis.”
I think that means if you want to reserve a seat, reserve it with your butt, not anything else, although technically speaking, that’s not reserving your seat – that’s just sitting there.

To argue its case, the Anti-Chope Movement posted this scenario on its Facebook page:
“It's lunchtime, it's the peak lunch hour at the food court, hordes of hangry humans and you're carrying your tray of hot food... you see an empty seat you make your way there only to find it being "choped"... By tissue packs, lanyards, namecards, keys, water bottle, umbrella, newspaper... You thought it was a public and shared space!
😭😩😤🤯😵😡 .”



Ironically, many arguing for choping used the same scenario of someone carrying a tray of hot food – except to them, choping is the solution, not the problem.



Most of the comments on the Anti-Chope Movement Facebook page are anti-Anti-Chope Movement.

Example:
“Trying to understand the reason for labelling the behaviour ungracious. What is the basis for the assertion that tables at kopitiams are ‘first come first seated (BUTT SEATED)’ (emphasis added)? What’s so special about butts?”
Ask Sir Mix-a-Lot.



I suspect the movement is partly a consequence of the April 2017 Straits Times article, “Singapore’s food centre chope culture: Is it practical or plain rude?”, prompted by letters from readers “asking for something to be done about the ‘choping’ of seats at hawker centres”.

ST reported:
“The practice, they said, has led to quarrels and created scenarios where elderly patrons carrying trays of food are deprived of a seat.

“Others argued that tourists who have been brushed away by locals defending their reserved seats come away with a tarnished image of Singaporeans, although the Singapore Tourism Board said it has not received any feedback about this.”


The Singapore Kindness Movement general secretary himself, Dr William Wan, sort of sidestepped the issue by saying:
“While there is nothing to stop people from sitting at tables waiting for their food to come, they should, in the spirit of give-and-take and empathy, offer their seats to those with food in hand.”
Does that mean he’s pro- or anti-chope? Who knows? Perhaps he is too kind to take a stand.

The Anti-Chope Movement doesn’t help its own cause by distributing cards with the “obnoxious” message, “Doing it for years doesn’t make it right.”



Well, it doesn’t make it wrong either. If I’m a choper, that’s not going to change my mind about choping.

As one Facebook commenter put it:
“I would expect an associate secretary-general of the Singapore Kindness Movement to be less self-entitled and privileged to be printing passive-aggressive card that target the wrong issue.

“What’s more worrying is that this exercise of self-entitlement that is the Anti-Chope Movement has received endorsements by senior ministers like Grace Fu.”
And all the minister did was take a few pictures with people at the Kindness Carnival.

I hope the free food was worth it.

- Published in The New Paper, 10 June 2019



Fact-checking The Alternative View's post about K F Seetoh, Jewel and me

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So The Alternative View posted this yesterday:



Since my name appears in the post, I feel I need to fact-check it line by line.

First line:
In May, after F&B entrepreneur K.F. Seetoh shared a post showing the dwindling crowds at Jewel after the initial hype ... PAP trolls and cronies were quick to bark that it was "fake news" as he had gone on a weekday morning.
For the most part, this is true... except...

It's impossible to comfirm whether it was "PAP trolls and cronies" who were "quick to bark". It could be just people wanting to get all the facts right.

Also, I want to point out that even quicker were the people who immediately derided Jewel as a "white elephant" in response to Seetoh's post.

It was only later when commenters started questioning what time Seetoh's photos were taken that he revealed that it was at 9.30am.

So while he did share a post "showing the dwindling crowds at Jewel after the initial hype", Seetoh subsequently amended his post to add that he was referring specifically to "pre-opening" hours.

He also added: "I see the usual crowds closer to opening and regular hours..."

Which contradicts the "dwindling crowds" claim in The Alternative View post.

Granted, Seetoh also added "The decline is slow and real", but this is stating the obvious because of course the crowds would decrease from opening day. At least "the decline is slow" rather than fast.

Finally, he added: "I feel for the tenants, esp the 24/7 ones."

So apparently, this was what his post was really about, not "dwindling crowds" per se. In a reply to a comment, Seetoh wrote: “If nobody at some hrs..why make them open 24/7 in these depressed manpower conditions.”

Which I guess is a fair point.

Here is Seetoh's post:



Second line:
One notorious IB even went on a weekend to "prove" him wrong.
This is accompanied by sceenshots of my column on The New Paper website with the headline: "S M Ong: Fake news? Explaining K.F. Seetoh's Jewel post".

I'm not an "IB" if it means what I think it means. As in I am not a member of the PAP Internet Brigade, paid to rebut anti-PAP views online.

I'm just a guy who every two weeks, has to come up with something to write about in 500-700 words for my column and that week, Seetoh's Jewel post was it.

In fact, I considered headlining the article: "Fake news? Defending K.F. Seetoh's Jewel post", but decided to go for something more neutral instead. If I had stuck with my orginal headline, I probably wouldn't have to write this blog post. People mostly just read headlines anyway.

You may argue that simply by writing for The New Paper, I’m an IB by default. If that is your perception, no amount of denial on my part is going to make a difference. I could point to some not so pro-establishment articles I have written, but who cares?

As for whether I'm "notorious", that's an opinion and I'm flattered that someone thinks I am.



And I didn't go to Jewel "on a weekend". As I wrote in my column, I went on a Friday afternoon, which is close to the weekend, but not technically the weekend yet.

Also, I went to Jewel not "to 'prove' him wrong".

As mentioned above, Seetoh already wrote in his post: "I see the usual crowds closer to opening and regular hours..."

So if anything, I went to Jewel to prove him right.

Third line:
But now PAP's own MSM are reporting that indeed the hype at Jewel appears to be dying down.
This is accompanied by screenshots of two Today reports:

Is Today "PAP's own MSM"? Not factual but I would call it a fair assertion. (See "Here Today, gone tomorrow: Remember the time Mr Brown's column got suspended?")

Is Today "reporting that indeed the hype at appears to be dying down"? Well, no and yes.

The most recent article, which was published on Friday, is about how restaurants on level 5 of Jewel have little or no business after midnight. This jibes with Seetoh's point that tenants shouldn't be required to open 24/7.

But it has nothing to do with the hype dying down.

Yes, the other Today article can be loosely described as about the dying hype, but it's more specifically about how businesses in the other airport terminals are affected, not Jewel itself.

Moreover, the article was published on May 19, which was before my column (May 27) and before Seetoh's post (May 22).

So it's a bit disingenuous to claim that "now PAP's own MSM are reporting that indeed the hype at appears to be dying down". It’s not “now”. It was four weeks ago.

Also, I just want to say there's nothing scandalous about the hype dying down anyway. That's the nature of hype.

No one expects the crowds to be as big as when Jewel first opened.

But when I was there two days after Seetoh's post, it was still pretty damn crowded.

Some businesses will do better than others. Yes, opening 24 hours or till 3am is probably not a great idea.

And maybe one day, Jewel will become a ghost town which some are eagerly looking for signs for as proof of PAP's ineptitude.

But that day isn't here yet.



Elsewhere in The Alternative View post, there's this line:
One notorious but brainless IB even went on a weekend to join the queue for one of the restaurants and claim that Seetoh was putting out fake news.
I've already addressed the "Notorious" and "IB" part. As for "brainless", yeah, I wish I could be smarter.

In my column, I didn't mention joining any queue. I just sort of said I saw a lot of people in Jewel. And I didn't "claim that Seetoh was putting out fake news". I just reported that one person commenting on Seetoh's post warned that the post may be considered fake news and I expanded on it.

I swear.

Take it from the Notorious S M Ong.




EARLIER: Fake news? Are there no more queues at Shake Shack in Jewel as K F Seetoh seems to claim?

How I survived the $4.50 durian buffet

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A durian buffet for $4.50?

That’s less than the price of a Mala Burger meal at Burger King.

Even though I’m not a durian lover (we’re just friends), it was an offer I couldn’t resist.

But, of course, there was a catch.

The buffet was at Plaza Singapura and you had to spend at least $45 in a single receipt at the mall to get one $4.50 durian buffet ticket for an appointed 45-minute session.

Why the recurring number 45? Because it’s Plaza Singapura’s 45th anniversary.

Yes, that’s how many years since Singaporeans first heard of Yaohan.



Anyway, a week before the durian buffet, my daughter managed to spend over $90 on a hoodie and too many T-shirts at the Uniqlo outlet so that I could get two tickets because I knew I couldn’t survive a durian buffet on my own.

But my daughter hates durian. My wife hates durian. My son hates spending time with me.

So I asked my mother. She is 78.

If she dies from eating too many durians, at least she would die happy – and fed.

She even came prepared with her own bottle of salt water because, you know, that’s what you’re supposed to drink when you eat durian.

I don’t know whether she had been to a durian buffet before, but I hadn’t.

The Plaza Sing buffet sessions were spread out from last Friday to yesterday. I got tickets for the Saturday session at 2pm.



To get ready for D-Day, I went on Friday to recce a session and gathered some intelligence.

The buffet was held outdoors under a tent in front of the mall, presumably so as to not stink up the building. Queues had formed more than half an hour before the session started. Plastic gloves were provided.



Each person was given four or five pieces of freshly harvested durian of different varieties on a paper tray.



Once you finished eating, you had to leave the tent and queue again for another tray.



You could queue as many times as you wanted up until 15 minutes before the session ended, because by then you wouldn’t be able to get your durian in time anyway.

If you went early enough, you could easily get at least three trays of durian.



On Saturday, my strategy was to re-queue immediately after getting a tray, leaving my durian with my mother. Repeat until time was up. This way, I could maximise my haul and eat later.

Well, that was the plan anyway. After I got my second tray, my mother offered to re-queue in my place so that I could enjoy the fruits of my labour.

But after she returned with another tray, I realised there was such thing as too much of a good thing.



I didn’t want to eat any more durian and neither did she. Her salt water didn’t help.

I had to force myself to finish the last piece.



So even though there was still time to re-queue, I decided to throw in my yellow-stained gloves and surrender.

It had been only 25 minutes.

I fought the durian buffet and the durian buffet won.

We left the tent and went to Tim Ho Wan to recover with dim sum and Chinese tea.

My mother claimed this was the first time I had ever taken her out to eat. (I guess she didn’t count her birthday meals.)

And all it took was a $4.50 durian buffet. (Terms and conditions apply.)



Thank you, Plaza Sing. For your next anniversary, you should bring back Yaohan.

- Published in The New Paper, 24 June 2019




EARLIER: Forbidden fruit is smelliest: I was cast out because I wanted to eat durians

Cryptopsy in Singapore: I wore a Hello Kitty shirt to a death metal concert and didn’t die

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On March 7, the Singapore concert by Swedish black metal band Watain was cancelled by the authorities at the last minute.

I and presumably most of Singapore had never heard of Watain before. Only 150 were expected at the concert.

The cancellation was largely attributed to a petition by a Rachel Chan to “ban satanic music groups Watain and Soilwork from performing in Singapore”.

Soilwork’s concert is in October. I and presumably most of Singapore had never heard of Soilwork before.

But Home Affairs and Law Minister K. Shanmugam said: “The petition per se did not influence the decision.”



Even so, two months later, the petition was updated to include on the ban list the death metal bands Pestilence and Cryptopsy plus an event called Metal United World Wide.

I had never heard of Pestilence or Metal United World Wide before. The shows were last month.

But I have actually heard of Cryptopsy. I own one of their albums, The Best Of Us Bleed.



You know how we all go through a phase where we seek out music that would annoy our parents? I went through that last year. I was 51.

I wouldn’t say I “stan” for Cryptopsy, but I like their album.

After news spread that Cryptopsy was added to the petition, the Canadian band responded on their Facebook page to the “potential banning” in Singapore:
“We as a band have no say or opinions when it comes to any sort of religion. We believe that everyone should choose their own paths in life.

“The lyrical & visual content in our music is a parody of the extremity of our music. It is a theatrical representation of the brutality and has been created to shock and awe as much as the drumming, guitar & bass riffs.

“We are in no way encouraging our fans to act out any of the content our art depicts.

“For us, our music and visual imagery is in no way worse than most of the Hollywood movies that are available today.”



Way to throw Hollywood under the bus, guys. Could a petition to ban horror movies about killer dolls be next?

Annabelle and Chucky in the same week? Come on, Hollywood, space them out!





To show my support for Cryptopsy, I bought two tickets to their concert at The Substation last Friday night. I paid $75 each, which is still much less than a U2 ticket or so I keep telling myself.

I forced my 19-year-old daughter to go with me. She prefers Bastille and K-pop.

She sported a black Snoopy T-shirt while I rocked a white Hello Kitty Run T-shirt because wearing black to a metal concert is so basic – even though neither of us had been to one before.

There were more than 100 paying audience members in the small Substation theatre, mostly men in black T-shirts and only a few women. No seats. We all stood.



As expected, the music was very loud and the singing consisted mainly of growls without any discernible words. I couldn’t tell the songs apart. The repetitiveness made my daughter sleepy even though she used ear plugs.

But I enjoyed myself, watching the fans stage dive, crowdsurf and wince in pain when they crash to the floor. I just had to be careful not to let any metalhead land on me.



My daughter and I got violently jostled a few times by slam dancers as we were standing too close to the mosh pit, but we’re okay.

In between doing the windmill with his buttock-length hair, singer Matt McGachy alluded to the petition when he urged Singapore not to let anyone tell us what we can and cannot listen to. I’m giving you the censored version of what he said.

After the hour-long performance, I queued up for the meet-and-greet with the band to get a picture with them.



No one commented on my Hello Kitty T-shirt.

I asked if they were told not to play any songs like Watain were. Cryptopsy drummer Flo Mounier shook his head and joked that nobody can understand what they are singing anyway. So at least they have some self-awareness.



Asked whether they knew about Watain, Mounier said that Watain and Cryptopsy are very different bands.

He’s right. Watain is a black metal band while Cryptopsy is a death metal band.

You may ask, aren’t black metal and death metal the same thing?

That’s like asking if Katy Perry and Taylor Swift are the same person. In case you don’t know, they’re not.



Well, at least the concert wasn't cancelled.

The Rachel Chan petition has since been deleted. Could it be because of a petition asking Mr Shanmugam to “get Rachel Chan deported from Singapore”? Who knows?

I wonder whether I should go to the concert by Swedish death metal band Soilwork if it does not get banned.

My daughter says she never wants go to another metal concert. I’ll have to ask someone else. My mother may be free.

- Published in The New Paper, 8 July 2019



This is how they stop us: Storming ST Kinetics for aliens? Sorry, ST Kinetics doesn't exist

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I’m spacing out.

What year is this? 2019 or 1999?

Is that why people are suddenly talking about extraterrestrials like it’s pre-Y2K when we were obsessing over The X-Files on TV? The show was like the Stranger Things of the 90s but with more paranoia and less Winona Ryder.

Or is it 1969?

Is that why I’m seeing all this news about the first man on the moon? Oh, it’s the 50th anniversary.



Ironic, isn’t it? We can put a man on the moon, but we still can’t use bitcoin to hire a hitman on the Dark Web to kill our ex-lover’s boyfriend without getting caught.

But the lunar landing’s golden jubilee is not why we suddenly have celestial beings on our minds.

Nor is it due to Men In Black International because that movie was so last month and not very good.



No, aliens are cool again thanks to a joke Facebook page called “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All Of Us”, which went viral last week like a certain app that can make your face look old and send your personal data to the Russians.

Area 51 is a classified US Air Force facility where conspiracy theorists believe the US government is secretly doing stuff with flying saucers and their other-worldly occupants.

You would know that if you’ve watched The X-Files.

Or Independence Day. Or Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.

Or the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode, “Little Green Men”.



More than 1.8 million users have supposedly confirmed on the Facebook page that they are “going” to “storm Area 51” on Sept 20.

Although I’m one of the 1.8 million, it may shock you to learn that I may not actually go. The main reason is Area 51 is in America, which is very far.

Fortunately, for those in Singapore, someone has created a “Storm ST Kinetics, They Can’t Stop All Of Us” Facebook event page.

ST Kinetics is in Boon Lay, which is much closer.



Why ST Kinetics? Because it manufactures advanced military products for the Singapore Government, possibly using alien technology, who knows?

The event page has these instructions:
“We will all meet up at the ST Kinetics Main Entrance and coordinate our entry. If we do our contact drills, we can dodge all their SAR21s and Terrexes. Let’s see them aliens.”
More than 1,700 have indicated that they’re “going”. More than 3,400 are “interested”.

Interestingly, while Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong has warned us about using FaceApp, he has yet to warn us against storming ST Kinetics.



But before committing, I messaged a friend who works at ST Electronics to find out whether he can provide any inside intel on ST Kinetics since both companies are under Singapore Technologies, which is what ST stands for.

His reply shook me to the core of my very soul.

“No more ST Kinetics,” he wrote.

Reality shifted. It was like I was in an alternate universe.

An entire company just warped itself out of existence to escape being stormed by 1,700 alien hunters? Maybe ST Kinetics does have UFO tech and really doesn’t us to know about it.

Actually, as my friend explained, ST Kinetics has been renamed ST Engineering Land Systems since June last year. Just as the company he works for has been renamed ST Engineering Electronics.

The confusion arises because if you search for “ST Kinetics” online, much of the information has not been updated, including on Wikipedia and Google Maps.

Somehow, “Storm ST Engineering Land Systems” doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

But the only way you can storm ST Kinetics on Sept 20 now is if you build a time machine using alien technology and travel back two years to storm ST Kinetics on Sept 20, 2017.

I sent my friend a link to an article about the “Storm ST Kinetics” page and he was intrigued.

He messaged back: “Hope my pass can sneak in…”

My hero! He must have realised that just because ST Kinetics isn’t called ST Kinetics any more doesn’t mean it isn’t hiding alien secrets.

In the end, one man may accomplish what 1,700 or 1.8 million can’t. No storming required.

The truth is out there in Jalan Boon Lay.

- Published in The New Paper, 22 July 2019




UPDATE: The “Storm ST Kinetics, They Can’t Stop All Of Us” Facebook event page has been renamed “Thoughts & Prayers For Aliens At ST Kinetics” with this note:
As you all know, ST Kinetics is no 🙅‍♂️ Hong Lim Park so storming ST Kinetics counts as unlawful assembly.

As such, let us put our hearts 💕 and minds 🧠 together as one 👽 alien loving congregation to pray 🙏 for the hearts and souls of the trapped aliens living within the confines of those grey walls.

We believe in the great power 💪 of thoughts and prayers to right all wrongs in our society and if it doesn't work maybe we can shrug it off as not part of some divine will 🤷‍♂️ hopefully, if the divine power be willing, allow us to clap some alien cheeks along the way.

comment "thoughts and prayers 🙏" to send virtual help to these poor aliens. 1 like = 1 thought, 1 share = 1000 prayers.



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